Scoob,
Just relax a little and learn to enjoy your newfound freedom. Remember that with freedom comes the responsibility of making good and wise decisions. And this too is a learning process that will take time. When you walked out of those Kingdom Hall doors, that was the first day of the rest of your life.
The more you learn about the Watchtower Society and what you?ve been trained by them, you?ll begin to stack that "learning" up against real life situations and after a while you?ll start to notice a pattern. You?ve been given a bad or poorly working ?map?. Now its time to make your own map and custom tailor it for yourself.
Don?t deny feelings of frustration, guilt and even fear. Embrace them. Pull back the layers of what you?re feeling and try to discover the core of those feelings. You?ll discover (over a period of time) that those feelings are mostly groundless and of no use in your life and psyche.
No one (or group) can have control over an independent mind. Grow your mind.
Good luck.
Steve